What’s in a Name?

I have been thinking quite a bit about my name.  Of all the great names in this world, Anna bestowed upon mean the name of “Hikaru”, after a character in a manga. 

I wanted to know if this name was truly worthy of a doll such as myself, so I did a small bit of research.  Google is a wonderfully useful tool.

According to that brilliant site known as Wikipedia, Hikaru is a Japanese verb that means “to shine”.  Depending on the kanji used it can mean “light” or “radiance”.  Definitely words that describe me.  Just says what I’ve always known, I am a glowing ray of light among the darkness of despair here to bring a glimmer of hope to those more unfortunate souls around me.  Yes, this name will do quite nicely. 

Now I guess I should clear up a few things.  The manga in question, Angelic Layer, is about a girl named Misaki who discovers a game called Angelic Layer while on her way to live with her aunt.  It is played using robots called Angels, they are basically extremely customizable dolls very much like bjds.  Misaki learns this very quickly as well as how expensive they are, also just like bjds. 

Of course at the time I had never heard of a ball jointed doll, but the idea of a doll that could be customized that much sounded great to me.  I had almost always liked dolls growing up and reading this manga rekindled that interest. 

Over the years I discovered and learned about a great many different types of dolls, but none quite fit what I wanted in a doll.  Then I discovered the ball jointed doll.  It looked promising until I saw a price tag and turned around.

Years later I looked again and learned some more about them. Here was a beautiful, exceptionally pose-able doll that could be customized to look and be exactly what I want or should I say what I would like it to be. I found my “Angel”.

Since it mostly started with Angelic Layer, it seemed fitting to name my doll after one of the characters.  And it has absolutely nothing to do with the name meaning “radiance” or whatever despite what Hikaru wants to believe.  It may be true that she is a bit of a “ray of light among the darkness of despair”, but it is also true that she sometimes is the cause of some of that despair thanks to that personality of hers.  I’ll explain where that comes from later.

Okay, I get it. The meaning of the word had nothing to do with the choosing of my name. But you do have to admit that is is most fitting of me, it must be destiny. 

And what exactly does she mean by saying my personality causes some despair?  I guess that explanation will come another day.